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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Loneliness
An Essay on Loneliness in the World
By Jennifer Carroll
Pine Point School
English
11/18/10

(TS) Loneliness is a common, yet terrible thing to have. (CM) It affects the mind, making the victim sad and desolate, like they are removed from the place where they want most desperately to be. (CM) They succumb to isolation and, believing themselves to be utterly alone, spend a good part of their time unhappy and miserable. (CS) Dill and my grandfather are just two cases of loneliness in the world, but they are the two that you will read about and hopefully, leave you with a better understanding of a human being in this state of loneliness.
(TS) An example of utter loneliness would have to be Dill, the tiny outcast in To Kill a Mockingbird. (CM) He has had the misfortune to be born to a mother who seems entirely focused on herself and not her young son, and he has no friends other than Scout and Jem due to being bounced from relative to relative over the years. (CM) He is so small, so fragile with his "wispy, light blond hair, like duck fluff," and yet he has the enormous burden of isolation resting on his slight shoulders. (SD) Dill is always alone, abandoned in his town, where his only family is either dead or paying attention to other, "more important" things. (CM) His mother, who has just remarried to Dill's new stepfather, is always off frolicking in the joys of married life, and has no time to spare for her little boy. (CM) His father dead, and with no siblings or close friends, the only question to ponder is why he waited so long before escaping from the cruelest prison of all- the cold embrace of solitude. (SD) He explains to Scout that his mother and stepfather love him, ( he is flesh and blood after all) but for the glaring fact that they cannot spare him a second of affection while leading their own busy lives. (CM) As he said, ""The thing is, what I'm trying to say is- they do get on better without me, I can't help them any". (CM) He leads his life, forever lonesome, until he snaps and makes a break for sweet affection and freedom, and who can blame him? (CS) Everybody needs love; it's like food, and if you don't get enough, you starve and wither away until not a shred of yourself is left whole and hearty.
(TS) My grandfather, an old man of 89, is a perfect example of a lonely being. (CM) Day after day, he sits in his decrepit, squeaky chair, his forlorn figure illuminated by the weak sunlight streaming through his window. (CM) He used to be a talkative man, bold and outgoing in his prime, but as the years have passed and the seasons changed, he has retreated further and further into the depths of solitude. (SD) His wife, my grandmother, is his only company and his main caretaker, but they never talk anymore. (CM) My mother sometimes visits him, along with my uncles and their offspring, but his sad, dejected expression soon drives them away, fleeing from the overwhelming feel of depression and lonesomeness that lurks through his home and shows in his expression. (CM) To drop in on him is at your own risk; when he's not staring numbly down at his newspapers, he's sitting quietly; the only sound that fills the awkward silence is the mechanical squeak of rusting metal as he rocks back and forth. (CS) I only wish that I could say something, anything at all, to make his face light up again with remembrance and joy, like it is portrayed in old pictures from long ago, when he was a younger and happier man.
(TS) Loneliness is, as I now hope you understand, a serious predicament to all involved, whether it be the victim or their concerned friends and family. (CM) It attacks you from within, slowly choking your feeling of connection, of being loved until it withers and dies within you. (CM) If you feel lonely, the only thing you can do is go to a relatives or good friends house, because only kind human contact can rid you of that melancholy emotion for good. (CS) Loneliness is not something to be taken lightly.

Self Assessment: I think that I deserve an A- for this essay. I really like some of my writing here and feel that I've done a good job on details and keeping the essay graceful. I think that I need to work on polishing my essays more thoroughly though.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Outline: Loneliness

                                    


Main Point or Thesis of Essay: Loneliness
Bell word: Isolated

Paragraph 1 -- Opening
Hook: Loneliness is unavoidable
Comment on the hook: Even in biggest crowd, can still be lonely
Comment on the hook: Not only when alone
Thesis  (with bell word): Loneliness is a hyena, it pounces when you fall

Paragraph 2

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis): Dill’s loneliness
2 Echo words to be used: Abandoned, isolated

SD : Dill always lonely and abandoned
CM: Mom busy with new hubby
CM: No siblings or father

SD: Parents love you, no attention
CM: “ The thing is, what I’m trying to say is ---they do get on better without me, I can’t help them any.”
CM: Home isn’t home when no one’s really there.

SD: Dill can’t please parents
CM: “They buy me everything I want, but it’s now-you’ve-got-it-go-play-with-it.”
CM: He is isolated

Paragraph 3

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis): Why is loneliness so terrible?
2 Echo words to be used: Alone, forlorn
SD: Loneliness is like cancer
CM: You don’t know if it will leave, even if you do the treatment
CM: Getting rid of it doesn’t mean it won’t come back and consume you later

SD: Loneliness is awful
CM: Always alone, always unsure
CM: Burns can hurt your outside, being forlorn can kill your inside

SD: Medicine doesn’t make loneliness go away
CM: Doctors don’t heal the hurt
CM: No proven cure can help; it’s all up to you

CS: Loneliness is the worst disease a human can receive


Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different): Everybody has felt lonely
Echo word (could be bell word): Friendless
Comment on the hook: It’s not something that only a few people get
Comment on the hook: Everyone has felt friendless at one time
Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis: Being lonesome from time to time means that you’re still human

                                                      By Jenn

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Just for Fun: Haiku's


                                Japan's Favorite Type of Poem

The wind blows outside
Scattering dry leaves around
Up into the sky

Fly on silky wings
To far lands of love and peace
Sweet freedom, hard price

In the dark night sky
The glowing moon shines brightly
Down on sleeping heads

A dog growls blindly
A small thief stops stealthily
Dreading his parents

Bright butterfly wings
Carry my hopes to the sky
Float on gentle winds

Raging storms, dark clouds
Flashing lightning strikes dead trees
Lighting them on fire

Don’t blame your family
To try to help you they say
Shocking things sometimes

Punch, kick, strike back hard
Don’t get hit, you won’t get back up
You’re fighting for life

Pretty little girl
Rosy cheeks, bright eyes, soft hair
Stay young, as life’s hard

So many faces
Flash by in crazy blur
Welcome to the city

Handmade patchwork quilts
Cover a sick little boy
Pray he’ll get better

If God carries you
In times where you are troubled
Where are His footprints?

                                              By Jenn
                                                Growing Up

The words seem so easy.
They flow right off your tongue.
Grow up.
At first,
You dread it.
You cry and whine,
Say “I’ll never leave you!”
To your parents.
Shocked that they would even say such a thing.
In childish innocence,
You make life long vows.
Blood oaths,
Promises that won’t be kept.
Cross your heart,
And say goodbye.
When you’re older,
You can’t wait to leave.
Like Christmas morning,
You wait impatiently for what seems like forever,
Tolerating your parents,
Your siblings.
Holding in your mind,
All along,
Just three more years.
Two more years.
One more year.
Here.
In To Kill a Mockingbird,
As Jem gets older,
He has a shorter temper with Scout.
He won’t let her walk with him.
He acts superior.
Scout can’t make sense of it.
I can.
Who wants a little sister tagging at your heels?
Embarrassing you in front of friends,
Laughing too loud,
Asking dumb questions.
You’re a big boy now.
You don’t have time for a little girl.
A little sister,
A little worshiper.
Jem doesn’t throw her a crumb.
She absolutely loves him,
He’s just cranky and irritable.
She thinks they’re equals,
He knows they’re not.
She doesn’t understand him now,
He gives no reasons.
He’s better than her now.
He’s older,
Stronger,
Faster,
Smarter,
Scout’s just dead weight to him now.
He doesn’t play with babies.
When I was growing up,
I was thrilled to have an older sister.
I wasn’t so happy to have a twin brother.
He pulled my hair,
And never shared his candy.
My sister was cool and pretty.
She knew the answers to EVERYTHING!
She went to a different school and had tall friends.
She always ignored me when they were here,
I didn’t like them as much.
As I got older,
So did she.
She started closing the door to her room so I couldn’t go in,
She talked on the phone a lot,
She brought home boys for dinner.
They were always pimply and ugly.
She said words that I got yelled at for repeating and,
She wasn’t fun anymore.
I waited patiently for her to return.
I let her kick me out of her room.
If she got mad at Mom so did I.
I was patient.
Then she left.
At first I was in a state of shock.
Where did she go?
Why wasn’t she coming back?
I begged my parents to call the police.
She must have been kidnapped!
They shook off my concerns and laughed.
I couldn’t believe they could be so cruel.
I waited for days,
I counted the hours.
Every morning I woke up happy and excited,
Every night I went to bed sad.
Finally my mom explained to me that,
My sister had grown up.
She was at college learning.
She had left home.
She would visit and come on holidays.
But not stay forever.
I swore I would never leave.
Now all I can to do is wait.
Two more years,
One more year,
Here.




                                                                        By Jenn

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


                               Graphic Organizer
                                               
     Theme: Growing Up
                                           Bell Word: Quick

Paragraph One
            Hook: Kids grow up too fast
            CM: Watch too many violent movies
            CM: Listen to music with swears and violence
            Thesis: They become adults too quickly

Paragraph Two
            TS: Scout and Jem are forced to grow up rapidly
            2 Echo Words: Swift, hasty
            SD: Dad defending black person
            CM: Have to fight to defend him
            CM: Have to believe that he is doing the right thing

            SD: They are given lots of freedom
            CM: Get into trouble that ages them swiftly
CM: Play with toys that are dangerous for small children and so they are hastily taught to be careful

Paragraph Three
TS: I live in a world where kids do not stay sweet and naïve for long
2 Echo Words: Short time, suddenly
SD: Read a lot
CM: Became more aware of the world
CM: Saw and read about things that happened that were bad (racism, genocide)

SD: I had an older sister
CM: Suddenly she had boyfriends and swore
CM: Watched her life and started copying her at a young age

Concluding Paragraph
            Hook: Children stay children for a very short time
            Echo Word: High speed
            CM: Scout and Jem had to grow up at high speed
            CM: I did too
            Restatement of Thesis: Kids should be sheltered a little bit more

                                                                                    By Jennifer