Jennifer Carroll
English Class
September 15, 2010
(TS) In this song, Rihanna sings all about hard some things can be and I liken this to school because some times, it's really hard to get good grades and stay focused and just make it through the day. (SD) She sings about how determination and dedication are the two most precious traits you can possess. (C) This reminds me of going back to school because no matter how hard I know it's going to be, I can't give up. (C) If I gave up, I would get terrible grades, my parents would be furious and my chances of getting into a good collage would be ruined. (SD) This song also remind me about summer ending because towards the beginning of the song Rihanna sings," Nothing is forever."(C) Summer doesn't last forever and Rihanna singing it gives it new clarity. (C) This could be a very good angry end of summer song. (SD) Another part of the song is when the artist featured in this song "Jeezy" starts to sing. (C) He sings this verse going," Cardiac arrest, cardiac arrest. Whatever you got, it ain't as hard as this." (C) This verse reminds me of school beginning because you know, for a fact, that it's going to be much, much harder, especially when you're older and have more responsibility. (CS) Whenever I hear this song on the radio, I always think of summer sometimes or of school because this song relates so much to the both of them.
Jenn, this a very good paragraph, and the writing is very descriptive. Your topic sentance is a little confusing, and if you change the wording a little bit, it will sound just fine. Also when you say,"especially in the higher grades", you could say "especially as you get older" and it will flow smoother. Otherwise, it was very, very good.
ReplyDeleteJenn,
ReplyDeleteI love your song choice and I think it totally relates to your feelings about summer ending. However, where you say, “Rihannas featuring artist "Jeezy" starts to sing. I think it would be better to say, the artist featured in the song, “Jeezy,” stats to sing, and you need to put an apostrophe in the word Rihanna’s. Also, you need some more minor proofreading like you did a slash instead of a period in one of the quotes.
Overall though, Great paragraph!